You don’t have to smile

A lot of times people create their own misery. They make standards that they cannot live up to. And the result of that is that they find themselves struggling with their own creation. Many times, the standards are things that are not complicated. The example here is the smile. Smiling is a good thing both for the one smiling and the one seeing a smiling face. But when smiling becomes a chore or becomes a necessary part of a job, it is no more what it is.

A smile is a facial expression to reveal the state of the heart  and mind. It was a few years back, I started hearing things like “wearing a smile”. A smile is supposed to be something that flows freely from within but now it’s a trade and a craft. Maybe the red carpet events made it popular, but I know that thing when I see it. Even the laugh is being crafted by a lot of people nowadays. The things that ought to generate positive vibes for the soul and body have been turned into something else. When you begin carrying a fake smile, it becomes more and more difficult to have a real one. When fake laughter becomes your thing, you will begin to lose touch of what the real thing is like.

I agree with having a smile on your face but personally, I’m more concerned about what brought it to your face and why it is there. Of course, very few people care about that as long as you just “wear” a smile. I don’t believe you have to force a smile on your face just to keep up with a standard. You would discover that majority of people who “wear” a smile all the time are people who long for happiness, people who want to be happy, people who are not really happy.

Don’t live in deception, you don’t have to smile. I would pick honesty and sincerity over an everyday ecstatic mood any day. When your facial expression doesn’t do justice to reveal what is in your heart, you have started failing in life. You don’t have to smile. The number one problem many will have with that is – what would others think? First, people don’t really care. And people who ask what’s wrong if you don’t put on a cheerful face don’t really care about you, it’s their environment they care about. They seem to care because you are part of their environment.

I have discovered that if you express yourself sufficiently through words to those around you, there is less pressure on your facial expression. Let me explain. The reason your “not smiling” face can be negative for you is that it (maybe) pushes people from getting to meet you and maybe keeps you from getting into conversations. But if you are someone that your personality is defined by you expressing yourself, you won’t be judged by your face. Establish yourself with words instead of a face. Let people know you by what you say, your ideas, your opinions etc. Of course, those on red carpet who are not happy will have to keep faking it. (I still don’t understand the essence of the red carpet thing).

There are many ways to go about words over “wearing a smile”. Humming a good tune is one way. Another way is making personal connection. This means connecting with people on a personal basis and not on a general basis. There are many relationship structures. Some have many friends but shallow friendship. Some prefer few friends but deep connection. I strongly prefer the latter. So if you don’t bond with smiling all the time, perhaps the latter structure of friendship is your type. Frustration comes in when your personality prefers one thing and you are trying to live up to something else.

So, make life easy for yourself. Throw away deception. Understand the structure you want to have. If you want to turn yourself to someone who smiles all the time from someone who doesn’t at all, it is very possible. But it happens from the inside out. You have to become happy inside and let it flow to your outward expression. The proper order is when your outside correctly portrays your inside. There can be none better than that.

Be a person, not a doll, not a thing

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