Many times people find themselves in a situation that is terrible. I’m talking about situations where people live in uncomfortable and hostile environments. This is very common. Your adventure in life can take you to trying places such as that. What do you do when you crave respect and you get disrespect time and time again? I made a discovery – the people that disrespect you are the people you don’t appreciate. The people you sincerely appreciate (even when you don’t feel like it) are bound to respect you. Respect is earned, respect is bought, there is no such thing as an entitlement to respect. Position can make you entitled to “respect” out of courtesy, but if you are truly going to get sincere respect, you have to buy it. The cost is simply sincere appreciation.
If the cost is too heavy a price to pay for you, then respect is too expensive for you to have. I was just thinking about it some days ago, I realized there were people around me who could disrespect me but they don’t dare to. Not because I’m scary or fearful but because I appreciate them so much, it will be a shameful thing for them to disrespect me. Learn to do well. What your life turns out to be is your making. For people who cannot dictate the people in their lives at the moment, you can use appreciation to culture the people around you. If someone you are sincerely grateful to turn against you and disrespect you in a big way, just keep your calm. At the end of the day, the one who disrespects becomes the only one to partake in the embarrassment.
I have made up my own life for ease. I’m not ready for stupidity to distract me from my course in life. Make up your mind for the quality of life you want. If someone wants to dig up something dead and buried, leave them there. You go forward with your life. It’s never too late to reach your target. The people you appreciate respects you.
Peace with prosperity be with you
I was among a group of people sometimes ago and they were talking about people and the changes that have happened in their lives. To be specific, they were talking about how they have been affected by university education. They were thinking of who they were before school and who they’ve become now. Then the attention shifted to a particular lady. They had almost come to the conclusion that university education makes people more civilized. And then the lady came up in the conversation. It was said that she is exactly the way she was before she went to school. In fact, they said she even got worse (and she even got bolder in her traditional lifestyle). When everybody is getting upgraded into better versions of themselves, she just was there being the same old same old. And she went in this same university that the others went and got exposure that expanded their thought and lifestyle.
There is a way people change. People don’t change by saying they have changed neither do people change by determining that they will change. You’ve probably heard it from someone before, those empty words that came out because of a situation, only to fall to the ground some days afterwards. Change is constant but you can determine the direction of your change. Places don’t change people, associations do. If you want to tell how your life is going to look like in a few years, look at the key people in your life. It’s very important. If you want to champion a change in the course of your life, you can change where you go to. But the change is only effective if you allow the people in this new place you are going to come into your world. Be careful who you let into your life. If you have friends that don’t understand lines of respect, and they make fun of your vision of the future, you will be stuck in a rut as long as you are with them. If you want to make true progress in life, you have to be more loyal to your future than you are to your past. Be faithful to your future.
There is no true vision of the future that you have that cannot be real. The question is, will you give it what it takes? Believe me, it will take something from you. And if your eyes is on today, you will never see need to make the switch. Think about tomorrow, think about your future, make the right choice concerning associations.
Peace with prosperity be with you
The world has not been fair to people. People are taught fear from their tender ages through school. There is a difference between teaching with fear and teaching fear. Kids at a very young age need to be taught some things with fear. And that is the essence of disciplinary actions which have been made illegal in some countries. Teaching fear on the other hand is something that is indirect. Boldness is a very important part of life. When I read stories of people that have made remarkable things happen in this world, I see many times a moment of boldness. And that is something that is not taught in school. If you give someone the idea to do such a thing, you’ll get the answer ‘am I supposed to do that?’
Life requires taking bold steps. Most importantly, steps that are not by the books. Not that the steps are illegal, but they are completely out of comfort. If you want to get sound, remarkable results in your life, you need to get proactive about life. Be bold. Do bold things. Go to places you’ve not been before. Talk to people you’ve not talked to before.
Someone once said, your network is your net-worth. If you want to change your value and relevance in real life, add better people to the people in your life. Those people will not come and enter your mind while you are in your room. You will have to go out to meet them. Most of the time, you will have to start the conversation. Be bold. That top executive you see almost everyday at the store, start a conversation with him. You can even go strategic by first connecting with his kids or wife which may be easier before you get to your target. It’s not that the person will turn your dust to gold or will give you what you lack, no! The relationship is what you need. Just having an acquaintance who is a top executive can give you a lot of things. You might get the boldness and access to go to a place of opportunity, you might get opportunities, you might get rare information, you can get access to a friend of his that can be of tremendous help to you. Anything can happen. Don’t set your mind to anything in particular but be ready to maximize anything you get. And make sure you are as ready to be of sincere help also.
Changing the circumstances of your life has to do with getting proactive. If you don’t get that bold, life will continue the way it has always been. Your life depends on the people you allow into your life. You can bring anybody into your life. If you are in a tight corner in your life today, make up your mind to add one person (one goodly person) into your life every 15 days. It’s a challenge. Are you willing to take it?
Add one goodly person into your life every 15 days. If you do this you will have added at least 8 goodly people before the end of the year.
If you don’t like where you are in life and you want a change, your desire is a good thing. Don’t let anybody talk you into accepting the status quo. Don’t let them make you embrace your problems and imperfections as part of your life. If you don’t like it and you want it out of your life, it can go. And it will have to go if you set your heart and mind on removing it totally out of your life. There is no way you are that is natural. I wrote a post one time titled ‘It’s not natural’, and the things I talked about there was very enlightening about the human person. Nothing about you is natural and cannot be changed. You learnt everything you know. It’s those things you learnt unconsciously as a child that you grow with that you call natural. All I’m trying to say is, you can change anything about yourself and your life.
There are things that you can’t just unlearn and remove out of your life. You have to find something to replace them before they can truly be out of your life for good. There are other things that will not leave your life until and unless you change your lifestyle, especially the places you go to. There are some things however that just learning a new thing will erase their presence. It is just as the ones that get replaced. One of those kinds of new things is what I want to show you today. I call it the deliberate act of purposeful giving.
There is a difference between donation and giving. Giving touches you as the giver, donations do not really affect you as the donor. The donor can continue his life the way it is before after donating. But the giver feels something is gone after giving. The giver feels it, what he gives affects him. The giver feels the loss of what he has given. The donor doesn’t. The secret of life here is giving purposefully, deliberately. If this is the only thing you learn to do from here, it’s fair by me. Giving is the key to life. It will bring to you things beyond your wildest dreams. When you give, you open your hands to be filled. And you will find things you hope for fill your hands and life.
There is nothing giving cannot bring into your life. It can bring prosperity, health, wholeness, attitude change etc. It can even change the state of your body (that is, make it look younger and fresher), if you allow it. Learn giving. Giving is always hard if you’ve not been doing it before. But when you begin, and do it with the whole of your heart in sincerity, it will bring pleasure beyond comparison into your life. There is no condition, whether medical or spiritual that it cannot bring you out of. For some things, it’s not the direct answer but it will sure lead you into the direct answer. Purposeful giving can never be a wrong thing to do if you do it without any ulterior motive (meaning, without expecting something in return).
The power of purposeful giving is not in the size of what is given, it is in the heart of the giver
Depression is not a good thing. Hearing voices of defeat and woe in your head is not a sound thing. Do you want to keep these things or you want to rise above it? This blog is all about making progress in life. If you don’t intend to make progress in life, you are not going to like this. When it comes to making progress, you have to do something you have not done before. If you keep doing what you’ve been doing and what you know and expect something different, you are only deceiving yourself. So, why don’t you listen, learn and act in accordance to what you just learnt.
What you listen to is very important. People are not physical bodies, people are made up of information. You are a victim because of the information you have that has made up who you are now. If your experience doesn’t line up with what you expect, then you should strongly consider changing who you listen to. Now you might not be aware of who exactly you are listening to, but if you take a critical look at your life through the day you should recognize something. You need to connect yourself to a channel of good news, not the woeful thing you hear everyday from TV, coworkers, neighbours, etc. If you don’t change what you listen to, your life will remain the same.
I don’t want to force anybody on you because there are a lot of people with good words on audio media, podcast, etc., that you can give your ears to. This may seem quite unrelated to the problem but it is where the solution is. If you have nightmares, play the audio and put the volume at a comfortable point where you can hear clearly and it’s not disturbing your sleep. This is where freedom begins from. Take advantage of the good people in your generation speaking words of life. You won’t have to search for long before you find one that you can bond with that will turn your favourite.
What created a problem will not solve it. The solution is always something different.
Let’s do an experiment. Get these words (displayed above) out in any convenient format for you and let it be the first thing you say to yourself every morning for the rest of this month. You say it out loud enough for your ears to hear as many times as you can. Remember, it must be the first thing from your mouth every morning, doesn’t matter how awkward your day is. Just let’s give it a try. And then later, we’ll talk about the effect of it.
It’s a basic concern of many people. Everyday I see people asking the question – what am I supposed to do with my life? I have a twitter account and it is mainly experimental. The timeline is full of real people (most of them randomly chosen) from different parts of the world just to give me an idea of how different people think, talk and respond. Almost no day goes without seeing someone complain about their life. The young ones especially many times express difficulty in life often attributed to not knowing what to do with their life.
Nobody can tell you in one sentence what you are supposed to do with your life. It is yours to uncover and discover. But there are lines and principles that makes the discovery journey something to write home about. You can’t just sit with what you’ve been doing all the while that has not produced any tangible result and hope for a miracle. You can’t just sit relaxed and say one day a fairy godmother or godfather will find you. It doesn’t happen in the real world. If it does happen, there is a 95% chance that it will end in regret. The other 5% is the chance it will end in you unsatisfied or unhappy about your life.
What can you do with your life now that can lead you into your own discovery of what you ought to be doing? It’s very simple. There are many ways to go about it. Also there is the true way into that but that is not today’s discussion. I want to show you one of the many other ways that can bring you in. I believe it’s a good place to begin. Look for someone who knows exactly what to do in life, someone who has a goal in life and fully persuaded of it. The person must be trustworthy to be of sound character and purpose. When you’ve identified such a person, become a part of making the person’s dream a reality. Help someone else who has a tangible purpose achieve the purpose. If you seek such people you will find and I’m sure you will find people who wouldn’t mind your assistance. Be a part of another person’s purposeful dream if you don’t know what to do with your life yet. In being part of the success of someone else, you will discover your place in life.
If you really don’t know what to do with your life and you don’t want to waste your life, seriously consider this and do it. Make sure the person you go to assist understands why you came or why you are around. These are words, your life is your choice.